I received a nice note yesterday – however nice it was a little troubling as well. Someone linked me as a favorite, which is flattering, but I do not believe that person knew what he or she was getting into. The content of the note was that this person was disillusioned due to my writings of sexual nature. The only issue that I have with this diary is…well – it’s a sex diary. The purpose of this diary was for me – to write about sex as freely as possible and use words that I want to use. That being said – this isn’t a child’s bedtime story. I truly do not want to offend anyone but I also believe that folks have the ability to click away. Perhaps I have a “real” diary out there with my inner most feelings, thoughts, desires, dreams, loves, passions…or maybe I don’t. This diary is for sex. Sometimes feelings come along with that (ahem…cough, cough). Anywho – I am now rambling. My point is that I hope anyone reading this understands to take it at face value.
Last night with Antonia was a lot of fun. We went to see “Closer” and then made out like teenagers in her car after. There is something to be said for slow moving action and hesitant steps. The pure physical nature of kissing – sometimes it’s an art that is truly forgotten. Antonia was wearing a low cut sweater that exposed quite a bit of bust line, along with a necklace that dangled between her breasts. Her neck is perfect and just…there. How am I not supposed to kiss, nibble, lightly lick it? While we are kissing how am I supposed to not trace my finger lightly along her neck line, down to her breasts, ever so lightly without going in too deep, tracing a finger along her neck, to her ear?
How am I not supposed to explode as one of her hands is gripping the inside of my thigh – mere inches from my cock, her thumb running up close to my penis and stopping right before she would “bump it?” My rock hard cock throbbing against the material of my jeans? Her hands on my chest, in my hair. Her heavy breathing in my ear?
How am I not supposed to go insane as she kisses my ear, runs her fingers dangerously close to my penis and whispers in my ear that I need to get out, get out, get out…we’re going to be making babies if you stay for one more minute…
And with that she literally opened the door for me and pushed me out of her car, closing it behind me with a thud. I stood; staring, a slight smile – this is different – and I heard her car door open. She was biting her lower lip, head slightly down, eyes locked on me, and moved towards me as an angry person would move towards someone that they intend to attack. Grabs me, throws me against the car, kissing me deeply. My arms around her, her head buried in my neck.
“Good night” she whispered, got in and left. I stood there for five minutes able to move.
Later that night I was in bed reading, just about to turn in for the night when my phone beeped it’s Pac-Man tone (I’m a geek…Pac Man tells me I have a text). It was she:
“You’re driving me nuts. Insane. I want to devour you. I want to go faster. MUCH faster. I’m terrified of you hurting me. How did this happen? How did I have all the power and lose it in less than a week. I want you. I need you to want me. I’m crazy it would appear and this text is going to certify that for you.”
My response to her was simple:
“You have all the power. Follow your heart at your pace and I’ll keep up. You overwhelm me.”
I think this girl is going to be a lot of trouble for me.