I was 21 when I met Tessa. She was 16 and in high school. We met at a store that had picnic tables outside in the back. I had stopped for a cup o coffee and a newspaper and was reading a story. She sat down at the table next to me and, next thing I knew, we were talking and having a really nice conversation.

I never would have guessed outright that she was 16 based on her maturity (and, remember, I was 21). I asked her out, she said she had plans but to call her. Striking green eyes, short brown hair, nice figure.

Weeks later, and countless hours on the phone, I hadn't been able to get her to budge on the date thing. We were getting along great on the phone and I was pretty confused. We were getting along so great and had great talks, why wouldn't she go out with me?

Finally one night she broke it to me that she was 16 and there is no way her mother would allow it, nor did she think it would be a great idea herself. She hoped we could still talk, and that I wasn't mad. I wasn't mad, as she didn't ever lie about her age, nor really mislead. I simply assumed she was older. How can I fault her for that?

Fast forward three years. We still talk a couple times a week, email often, and are really good friends. I've met her Mother, even having Thanksgiving with her family one year. Tessa is 19, I'm 24. She's in college. attending at a school that was about a three hour drive from where I live. Tessa was always seeing someone, she was never single. This was no different.

She lived off campus, a little baseroom apartment in a family's home that rented each year to a college student. She had her own entry, but had to use their bathroom and kitchen. Tessa calls me on a Friday and suggests that I come to see her and hang out. I was working maybe 30 hours a week at the time and didn't have anything going for the weekend, so I agree and head off.

Tessa had warned me that she wouldn't be home until 5ish, but to make myself comfortable while I wait. I did what any guy would do in a girl's room by himself, I snooped. Looking at her bra to see what size she wore (34 D), of course hoping to find a stash of secret sex toys in the top drawer by her bed (nada), condoms (plenty) and whatever else.

See - Tessa and I talked about a lot of deep stuff. We never talked about sex, as far as I knew she didn't put out. I knew she had boyfriends, but that was it. We spoke about dreams, classes, goals, feelings. She would call me a lot from the bathrub, she said that my voice completed her ability to relax. It dove me nuts knowing that she was laying in her tub naked and I couldn't get her to even tease me about it...but I also didn't feel comfortable teasing her a lot about it...it just didn't feel appropriate).

I had spent a couple nights along the years in the same bed with her, we hadn't even shared a kiss, much less a cuddle.

So, finding that the drawer next to her bed was stacked full of condoms (and all different brands) actually made me feel different things. Certain things stirred sexually, because I had been attracted to her now for years and she was no longer forbidden fruit. But the feelings were also mixed feelings of jealousy and hurt. Who was this guy that she thought more of than me? She can share her fears of the world with me, can call me and cry herself to sleep on my shoulder, but share something of herself like that to someone (or someONES) else?

Tessa walked in the room and I got my usual 5 minute hug that I cherished along with a kiss on the cheek. We talked for about two hours and then she said that she wanted to go to a coffee house that night, there is a great acoustic guitar player there. I agreed, and off we went.

We had a great time, and I was introduced to a lot of people. She had one friend that was amazing and spent the night flirting with me. Tiny little blonde with big blue eyes, and over flowing bra size, and tiny little body. I thought that as long as I was spending 90% of the time with Tessa, why would it be bad to spend my night with this girl?

The girl and some of her friends were heading to a party and wanted us to come along. Tessa declined, saying that WE were calling it a night. No input from me...but what was I supposed to do? "I know I came to see you, Tess...but I'm going with her for the night...see you tomorrow?"

SO, off to Tess's place we went. We got back, brushed our teeth, changed in night clothes and got into bed facing each other and talking. She was going on and on about this and that and I became annoyed for the first time ever with her. I pretended to be listening, but I was fighting off sleep and I was a little mad. I could be with that other girl right now, someone that actually wanted to be with me, not just use me as a sounding board for all her problems.

Tessa was going on and on about her last boyfriend, and how he dumped her because she got bigger. I would admit that she had gained the typical freshmen 15. Some of it went into her face, but mostly into her ass and chest. I personally thought it looked good on her, but she was dealing with college boys that wanted...well that tiny blonde with the big tits.

I said something about the fact that she's dealing with boys, not men, and not to let it bother her. She looks amazing, and if guys don't get sucked in by those huge green eyes I didn't know what else to say. Her eyes sucked you in and that smile kept you there. She smiled, put her hand on my face and said that I was sweet and that she loved me.

I was started to fall asleep when I felt something on my lips, something soft. I opened my eyes and Tessa was kissing me. Instinct took over a little and we laid side by side for what seemed forever kissing deeply, kissing lightly, just enjoying the taste and feel of each other.

Tessa rolled me onto my back layed down on me while she continued to kiss me. She sat up and, wiggling her hips a little to get her nightgown to a better place, pulled her nightgown up over her head. My heart was going about a million miles an hour, this was the last thing in the world I would have expected to happen when I came to see her. Reaching under me she semi sat me up and pulled my tee shirt up over my head and off.

Pressed together we kissed deeply, Tessa kissing my neck and chest. Her body felt so amaazing pressed against mine. She whispered in my ear "make love to me."

I rolled her on to her back and kissed between her chest, taking her tits in my hands, working over her nipples gently a little, more rough a little, trying to gauage which she enjoyed more. Kissing my way down her stomach, her tummy rising and falling, I kissed my way down between her legs.

Tessa's personality completely changed ay that point. No longer was I dealing with the thoughtful, well thought out, precise, clear edged girl. I was dealing with someone that loves her sex. I hadn't reached between her legs and she was moaning "suck it...take my clit in her tongue." Tessa, at 19, was doing something that no girl I had ever been with had done before. I had sex with the same girl for over 5 years and she had never been so vocal. Tessa directed the shots, put in a finger and fuck my cunt, now lick my clit, lick it harder, slow down with your fingers, put in another one, lick under my clit, God slide a finger in my ass, put a finger in my ass.

Thinking back, now that I'm older, her sexual prowess makes perfect sense. She was in complete control over who she was, was comforable in her skin like no one my age was much less someoner her age, and knew who she was. She had figured out something early in life that all girls should be so lucky to figure out. She knew what she liked, so why not tell the guy and help?

I had three finger of one hand in her pussy, two from the other hand in her ass, and my tongue planted firmly on her clit - so firm I could barely move it, all per her commands. Her back arched, her hands squeezing and pulling on her breasts, she moaned she was cumming, don't stop, don't you dare stop, fuck my pussy harder, do it, go, go...

It was quite exhuasting, actually. My mouth was killing my, both my shoulders were on fire, and I was actually scared of stopping. She came and quickly pushed my face away, being one of those girls that can't have direct contact on her clit after she cums. Her big green eyes wide, whispering come here, come here, she kissed me deeply, tasting herself on my mouth, her hand frantically searching for my cock between our legs and guiding it towards her pussy.

She put my cock on the opening of her pussy and moved her hips, trying to get me inside. I whispered something about condoms, we need a condom, and she whispered right back "not with you, make love to me" kissing me again. My hands on her hips, I slid my cock all the way inside her producing a gasp from her. I lifted one of her legs, kissing her deeply, and taking her breasts in my hands and mouth.

The directions continued, telling me how to "fuck that cunt, fuck my little pussy" and directing me to go faster, slower, just the head. In 20 minutes we must have gotten into 10 different positions. We were fucking doggystyle and she was telling me "hit it hard, God fuck me hard." She told me to grab her tits and squeeze them and not move. Moving my hips so that my cock was as far in as it could go, I had my hands around her and grabbing her tits and squeezing them, holding her so she couldn't move.

Tessa started swinging her hips back and forth in a way I have never experience before. This was producing this odd feeling of incredible friction and pumping at the same time. I started to get close and told her to slow down, which only made her speed up.

Tessa was moaning for me to cum, please cum, give it to her, cum inside her. 10 seconds later she had her wish and I came inside a pussy for the first time in my life without condooms, and without any knowledge if she was on the pill, and completely not caring.

We literally spent the night fucking. It was a combination of rough and tumble animal driven sex, and tearful crying, I love you sex. On the bed, against the wall, upstairs in the shower (very quietly), on the floor, on the stairs leading outside, the couch in her living area. We didn't leave the house until 8 the next night, and that was long enough to get something to eat. The next night was the same, Tessa had an effect on me that no one ever had before her.

I left that weekend completely overwhelmed. The next weekend I was supposed to go back and she called saying she would come down instead. That weekend was as amazing as the first. I was completely gone, lock stock and barrel.

The next two weeks I could not get ahold of her. She wouldn't return my calls, didn't email me back. I caught her once and she said she was really sorry, super busy, she'll call back. No call back.

I was going nuts, so the third Friday I decided to drive up there. It was 10 at night when I left, not arriving until after 1am. I was walking to her house, her little car in the driveway. So many terrible thoughts had been going through my head. She had her own driveway and lived two miles from the school, so I was preparing for another car to be in the driveway. No car. Amazing relief washed over me as I walked towards her place. It was a basement apartment with those little windows surrounding it.

Something made me stop and look into. I couldn't see anything, but what I heard shattered my heart. I heard heavy breathing, and then I heard a male voice. "Like this?" Then her familiar commands, like this like this...do it do it do it...God, do it harder.

I sat in my car for three hours before the crushing wave of my crying finally ended. Spurts would come and go, but the huge wave ended as the morning light broke. There was a parking lot that was across the street from her place and I wasn't leaving without answers. At 6am I walked to the 7-11 nearby and called, she actually answered. She's sleeping, hasn't been feeling well, she's really sorry, she'll call soon. I tossed out a couple "I hope there isn't anyone else, after all these years I've finally found you" and laid it on really thick. In a clever way to not alert the guy laying next to her, she basically purred into the phone to not be silly and she'll talk to me later.

It wasn't long after that she came out with the guy. They got into her car and she backed out of the driveway, and then looked left...and right into my eyes. I briefly saw something flicker in her eyes and, without showing her hand, put the car and drive and drove away - no doubt to drop the guy off.

I bought a cup of coffee at the same 7-11, started the car, and went home - not waiting to confront her. I would have fallen for anything that she said, hook line and sinker. I had finally tumbled, and tumbled hard.

I got home to roughly 26 messages on my answering machine - she used all the space on it. Call her, she has to talk to me, it's not what it seems, they're only friends.

That is a call that I never returned. Although the Tessa story doesn't end here.

And now you know...why I don't do relationships. I can't, my heart is laying in a dirt parking lot outside of a 7-11 in a small college town. I've never gone back to look for it.